I’m not talking about the wait for them to look and start over dramatically making out with someone maneuver. I’m talking about getting on with your life maneuver.
There’s always one person who ends the relationship. One person who’s feelings are not as strong as the other persons. That person has the advantage of moving on with their life while the other person has to suffer through the depression, anger, loneliness, and longing.
If only the person who is suffering through those feelings could get their ex on a level ‘feeling field’. Meaning that both of them would feel the same, but not over intense, feeling of wanting the relationship back.
Oh wait there is!
For easy of writing sake let me refer to ‘you’ as the person who got broken up with and as the ‘ex’ as the person who did the breaking up.
So the ex goes about their life because they don’t hold the same feelings they held at the beginning of the relationship. For what ever the reasons. Maybe you weren’t giving them the attention they needed or maybe you were mistreating them in some other way that made them eventually get to the point of wanting to leave you.
But because YOU have such intense emotions still you go about life like a crazy person. You phone them constantly, lightly stalk them, or obsess about what they might be doing right now. All the while the more you do this the further they push you away.
So what you need to do is get on with your life. You can keep the secret of wanting them back in your head but don’t act like it.
Hang out with your friends and go out to events.
Try to go out with large groups so you have more of a distraction going on around you – more to focus on.
Do those activities that you let go of when you two started dating or start something new that you never had the time to do when you were dating.
All of this will have two benefits.
1. You will be so busy doing things that your longing and wanting will take a back burner for a while.
2. Your ex will see you moving on and having a good time. This is the most important thing and ultimately your goal.
Their ego, which thought that there was no way you could be having fun without them, will be hurt by seeing you having such a great time. They will see you for the fun and happy person you really are and they will remember all the fun and happy times the two of your shared. They will want that feeling back, cause that’s ultimately why they enjoyed you in the first place, and before you know it they will be asking you out for coffee or a ‘date’ at your old favorite hangout.
The thing to do then is keep it lighthearted.
Don’t revert back to your old relationship because you are essentially starting over. You want to create a new feeling of happiness.
You want to give your ex the attention they were craving or you want to treat them better like they deserve to be treated.
And why would you want the old relationship back anyway? Look at where it ended up!