One of the most painful things to go through in life is when you are betrayed by cheating or an affair.
And it’s even more painful to not know for sure whether your partner is actually cheating or not! Sitting around and thinking about it can be very stressful on the mind and on on the body.
You deserve to know the truth. And there are some huge signs of cheating that will tip you off to the truth – but not fully validate it with proof.
If you think you are being cheated on then there are some things that you may feel like doing that are the exact opposite of what you should be doing.
These things include:
Being noticeably angry at your partner
Accusing your partner
Stalking your partner
Questioning your partners friends and family
Confronting the other person you think they are cheating with
Why are all these things the wrong thing to do? There are 2 reasons:
For the simple fact that if your partner is not cheating then you risk ruining the relationship over your suspicious actions.
If they are cheating then your openly snooping around about it will make them hide any evidence they have very well – and you may never find out the truth.
If you start to get angry with your partner always without telling them that you think they are cheating, and they are not, then they may question your happiness in the relationship and even their own happiness.
The relationship will eventually become strained and unhealthy – and if this goes on for too long you may end up in an unnecessary breakup.
Stalking your partner can result in them finding out you are stalking them and ending the relationship over anger at you for not trusting them. If the relationship doesn’t end then there will still be a trust issue there until the issue is dealt with.
Questioning your partners friends and family about an affair is making you look untrustworthy in their eyes, and they may pass their feelings along to your partner. This may result in a group effort of getting rid of you because you seem crazy and not trusting.
Confronting the person you think your partner is cheating with is tempting – and is also a horrible mistake. If there is nothing going on you are essentially harassing someone who doesn’t deserve any harassment at all. Also, when you confront someone you start to become irrational and you may end up doing something, like fighting, that you will regret later on when the police are there.
The best thing to do if you think you are being cheated on is to look for solid evidence that this is the case.
Then when you find the evidence figure out what you want to do from that point, whether it be try to work it out or leave them, so you have a plan of action instead of letting them talk you into what they want you to do.
Then once you have all that settled, confront them. Do not confront the other person and take it all out on them as your partner is who you should be dealing with. They are the one that betrayed you.
What happens from that point is up to you.
The point is the relationship didn’t end because of your suspicions and anger, but instead will possibly end because of your hard-proof evidence.
I read this book and recognized it for the valuable tool it is when trying to figure out if you are being cheated on and I know it’s worth reading if you are having any sort of suspicion or signs going on in your relationship.
It will give you the answers you are looking for without the guilt of feeling like you are the one doing something wrong while trying to find out the truth, which we all know is very common.
The cool thing about his book is that it does not force you into thinking your partner is cheating but it allows you to figure out the truth as you go along. He puts no suggestions in to your head that lean you one way or the other but he does give you the facts and insights you need to finally find out for sure.
He delves into how cheaters are fluent in lying and spinning their web which makes you, the victim, feel confused and lose the ability to think or see straight, and how all the while you are being played you are also at risk for any disease you may pick up along the way. This is so true as I said before. If your partner is sleeping with someone behind your back and still sleeping with you, then technically you are sleeping with their new partner as well and you are at risk to catch anything they may be at risk for.
He then goes on to explain ‘the four pillars’. What you will need to get through this process without heading down the lonely and confused road of trying to do it yourself. In essence you are building yourself an alliance that is completely on your side through the whole process of investigating and discovery.
He then goes on to explain the things you should be looking for. The clues that are tell tale for you. This is where you sit back and think, holy crap, I’ve seen those signs or thank god, I haven’t seen any of those signs. Either way it will be an eye opener and a breath of relief from the wonderful and frantic imagination we are all equipped with.
One of the great things about this book is it tells you how to act while trying to learn the truth. If you act the wrong way and the cheater gets wind of it they may make it harder for you to find out the truth and you’ll be back at square one. And if they are not cheating and you’ve acted a crazy fool then you become the bad guy in the relationship and that’s not what you are aiming for.
‘Beating cheating’ is not as long as other books – it was 98 pages on the pdf file. This is actually a good thing though because they have simply taken out the filler that most people put into their books and have laid out the information and what you want to know in a straight forward manner. It helps you figure out your plan quicker and ensures that there’s no skimming over long winded parts that may contain something useful in them but are too long to read.
There are so many things in the book that you just wouldn’t think of on your own.
In conclusion, this book is really a must have if trying to figure out if your partner is cheating on you. It will focus your mind towards finding out the truth without giving away what you are doing. It will also give you some signs that you should be watching for if your partner is cheating and how to react to them. It explains why trusting your instinct and not being intrusive is the best way to investigate the situation and it also gives you a plan on what to do if you do find out they are cheating. All the information is laid out rationally and clearly for you.
You can learn more about the book and buy by clicking here.