A bad date is not always a bad date
Do you have a bad date horror story?
If you’re like most women who are actively dating you’ve been on some bad dates. If you’re on a search for the man of your dreams, your bound to have some more.
But not all bad dates are the same. Some dates are bad because your date doesn’t meet your expectations and some are bad because you’re on a date with a jerk.
Either way, if you’re not enjoying yourself it’s a bad date.
Here are some things you can do to make it through five different types of bad dates:
1. When you and your date don’t have chemistry.
Have you ever sat across from someone that you just weren’t into. Despite good emails and phone conversations, your date can still not be the man you think you’re looking for.
While this is technically a bad date, this is a date you might be able to turn around. Before you give up on this guy ask yourself if you had realistic expectations about this date. Did you expect fireworks and got fizzle? Did you expect instant attraction? Chemistry?
Chemistry is something that can build up over time, as you get to know him. Attraction can send your heart fluttering but that feeling is not the basis for a healthy long-term relationship.
So, to get through this date, throw out your expectations and decide to just have fun. In the end you might decide that he is relationship material and if not at least you’ve had a good time.
2. When your date is boring you to death.
Some people are not good conversationalists in person. While they may wow you online and on the phone. In person they’re just dull.
This is one of the bad dates most people dread. Watching the clock like you’re back in high school waiting for the final bell. Of course since your clock watching time will inexplicably slow down. Making a bad date seem much worse.
That’s why you don’t go on full dates as a first date. A lunch date is only 20-30 minutes and meeting for coffee can be less than that. That’s enough time to meet someone and decide if you want to see them again. It also helps you avoid an hour of misery.
If you are stuck at a table with a boring date, try to make the best of it. Try to get him talking. Maybe you’ll find something he likes to talk about. Chemistry can develop over time as you get to know someone. Getting him to talk may bring out a person you may be attracted to
If you find something he enjoys talking about, you might find that he’s not boring, he may just be shy. If not, grin and bear it and next time you’ll remember when it comes to first dates, keep it short – very short.
3. He’s not the person he said he was. He lied.
This is common with online dating sites. Some men feel that it’s easier to get a date if they don’t tell the truth about themselves on their profile. Well they’re right, it can make it easier to get a date. He may figure that when you meet chemistry or attraction will kick in. But who wants to date a liar.
While you may understand why people do these things, you don’t need to tolerate lies. So, when your 6′ athletic date turns out to be 5’5″ and out of shape, don’t feel bad about calling off your date.
You have to remember that your time is valuable. By lying in his online dating profile he’s kept you from spending your time with someone who’s honest. Who’s to say you wouldn’t have dated him if he were honest from the beginning.
4. He’s looking for something you’re not offering.
What type of relationship are you looking for? This is something you need to know before you go on a date. Why? Because one of the most common bad dates is one when your date wants something you’re not offering.
Usually, it sex. Some men know it’s a number game. If they go out with enough women sooner or later they’ll meet one who’s willing to have sex with them. If that’s not what you want, you’ve wasted your time.
It’s not what they want that’s the problem, the problem is when they come to the date with a hidden agenda. If he’s not upfront and truthful about why he asked you out, and spends the whole date hinting about what he wants, he’s a bad date.
Don’t let men play games with you. If you don’t want to play this game, leave, delete his number, block his messages and start looking for a man who wants the same thing as you.
5. Your date displays rude, crude or bad behavior.
No one wants to be on a date with someone who’s rude or disrespectful. Yet there seem to be a number of men out there who never got that message.
Even those that know they’re not supposed to be rude tot their date, don’t understand the kindness rules extend to other people also. Like the waitstaff. A date is supposed to be fun. You can’t have much fun if you’re spending your whole date worrying about who your date will insult next.
If you find that your date does not know how to treat people, you’re on a bad date. If you don’t feel comfortable with your date because of their behavior feel free to leave.
These are just five types of bad dates, I’m sure you know of a few more.
As you see, all bad dates aren’t really bad. You need to decide how you’ll handle a bad date. What’s right for me might not be right for you.